“When Am I Going to Be Enough?” | Final Thoughts on Love Is Blind, Self-Esteem, and Being Enough
Last month, the final episode of Love Is Blind Season 6 aired on Netflix, where we watched the final two couples make their way to the altar. *SPOILER ALERT AHEAD*
While watching AD and Clay’s wedding, there were a couple of moments that stood out to me that broke my heart (besides Clay playing in AD’s face and saying “No”). One of those moments happened during AD’s last scene, where she asked “When am I going to be enough?” Hearing those words felt like I was listening to myself whenever I was praying or having a conversation with a close friend. I know we like to watch and spectate these shows, saying that we would’ve done XYZ, but we are forgetting that the people we are watching are human, too.
When you ask that question, you have reached a point of exhaustion, where you have tried everything, played by the rules, and things still didn’t work out. I can honestly say that I have experienced this moment in several situations: relationships, my career, or just in general. It’s not a good feeling, and you wind up questioning yourself and feeling like giving up on the things you’re trying to pursue. Throughout the season, we’ve seen AD try to make things work with Clay, who wasn’t really ready to be a husband from the start, in my opinion. But my hope for her, as well as the other ladies on the show, is that she continues to love herself, learn from this experience, and move forward with her head held high. (EDIT: From what AD has shared at the reunion and in other interviews, it seems that she is doing just fine and standing on business!)
Part of the self-love journey is learning to love and accept yourself as you are, believing that you ARE enough! It’s believing that you’re a good woman (or man) to the core, and there’s nothing anyone can do or say that will change that. There isn’t a manual on how to love and accept yourself properly. However, I can say that you will learn how through your life experiences, including moments of rejection. One of those lessons you will learn is this: You are not for everybody, everybody is not for you, and that’s okay! It’s a hard pill to swallow, especially when we’ve grown up with the pressures of wanting to be liked by everyone. We want to be loved and accepted, and it hurts us when we’re not. But in those moments of hurt, it’s important to remember the positive aspects of our character while reflecting on how we can improve. It’s easy to beat ourselves up over our mistakes and failed relationships, and only focus on those things. But it’s important to show ourselves grace in those moments.
I’m not sure what the next season of Love Is Blind will be like, but I hope the next cast takes the process seriously and that they’re honest with themselves (and others) about where they are on their journey. Again, there isn’t a “proper” way to love and know yourself, and you are not a terrible person for not being ready for a certain phase in life (Like Jimmy not willing to take a step back from his friends…just kidding.).
No one will ever be 100% ready for marriage. However, having a clear understanding of what you want in life and relationships will help you healthily navigate through those things, including coming to the conclusion that you don’t want to be married. Whatever you decide to do with your life, know that you have what it takes to accomplish your goals. You are THAT girl (or guy), not because you look a certain way or have certain things, but because of what’s on the inside of you. YOU are enough.
-Anyssa xoxo
