The Beauty of New Mornings: A Throwback To A Moment When I Found Purpose

If you were to ask me, “Anyssa, what inspires you?” I’d say the opportunity to wake up and see a brand new day.

When you’ve been through tough situations, and have come face to face with death far too many times than a person should, waking up the next morning is more than enough to inspire you. To me, it’s God’s way of letting you know that you have another chance to start fresh. You have 24 hours to do and experience something different, to make the day you’ve been given better than the day before.

I wasn’t always appreciative of this simple gift, though. I’ve had countless moments in my life where waking up to a new day wasn’t inspiring, and it was hard to do, I’ve been dealing with depression since I was a kid, being officially diagnosed at age 20.  However, you couldn’t tell because I learned how to mask the pain by being a sweet, “happy go lucky” kid. I would smile and pretend that everything was okay, but I was dying on the inside. I felt alone, though I was surrounded by family and friends. This is in no way of me trying to get sympathy from anyone, this was just how things were.

Dealing with depression put a damper on my passion for certain things, such as acting. I stopped auditioning for roles and would always compare myself to other actors, believing the lie that I wasn’t good enough. It was hard for me to find inspiration to live my life and go after my dreams. I’d be lying if I told you that it took me a few days to appreciate the gift of life and to be inspired by it. It wasn’t until years ago after a near death experience that I started to live again. I got in a car accident on my way to work and totaled my car. Looking at the report and my car afterwards, everyone (from my dad to the police and paramedics) said that I should’ve died. But I didn’t. I made it out of my car with just a scratch, and most of the damage was done to the passenger side. I felt like God was definitely watching over me, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. 

I’ve been in situations that almost cost me my life, but this particular one impacted me the most. It was my wake up call. Had I not survived, I wouldn’t be able tell you a piece of my story, and you wouldn’t be here reading it.

I’ve learned to take my painful experiences and using them to tell my story to help and inspire others. When you share your story, you let people know that you’ve been where they are, which lets them know that they aren’t alone. That’s what eventually helped me realize that I wasn’t alone. I’ve shared my story with others, and have gotten a lot of positive feedback. But most importantly, I gained a sense of release and began to heal.

Life is a journey, filled with ups and downs, revelations, and other things in between. And what’s unique about this journey is that it’s MINE. Had it not been for the grace and mercy given to me when my life was spared, I’d probably still look at my life the same way prior to that moment.

In that same year, I had to move back home after being kicked out of school, feeling like I had failed in life. But I started looking at things in a different light,, including my journey with depression, realizing that it wasn’t a burden and I can still live a peaceful life. I’ve realized that every day that I was given is a gift, and I had the opportunity to make each day better than the others. Not every day has been a great one, but with therapy, prayer, and my rekindled passion for life, I’ve been able to stay inspired to keep living.

If there’s ever a moment where you feel like you’ve been given a second chance, bask in it. Take it as an opportunity to change your perspective and live out your dreams. We’re on a journey to live out this gift called life, and live it unapologetically.

Cheers.

Anyssa Marie xoxo